Be Prepared
by DoktorK
Summary: Villain song parody.  Mewtwo demonstrates his ability to scheme and sing to convince Team Meanies and a hoard of Ghastly who's the baddest.


Off in a cave fortress, we see three pokémon: a ghost, a monkey, and a snake; who were currently healing from their most recent beating. The snake, Ekans was currently laughing at the monkey, Medicham, who was rubbing her hurt bottom.

"Shut up Ekans." Medicham said angrily.

"Alright, alright." Ekans said, stopping his laughing fit. Then he started laughing again.

"That's it." Medicham, fed up with Ekans constant laughter, tackled him.

"Will you two cut it out." said the ghost, Gengar.

"Well he started it." Medicham said, pointing at Ekans, who was oblivious to the fact he was biting his tail.

We hear a gurgling noise come from the three rotten pokémons' stomachs. "Uh, I'm hungry." complained Ekans.

"We know. Uh, if it weren't for those higher rescue squads always pushing us around, we'd be in control." Medicham said.

"Yeah! Besides those leader guys are so uptight." Gengar said.

"And smelly." Ekans said.

"And dirty." Medicham said.

"And boy, ARE THEY UGLY." all three said together in unison. This comment resulted in extreme laughter fit.

"Surely we're not all that bad." said a mysterious voice. The three jerks looked up at a cliff in shock, thinking they were busted, but sighed in relief when they saw who it was.

"Oh, Mewtwo, it's only you." Medicham said.

"We thought it was someone important." Gengar said. Least to say, Mewtwo was not pleased with that comment.

"Yeah, like Alakasam." Ekans added.

"Ooo, just the sound of his name makes me shake in fear." Gengar said humorously.

"Alakasam." Medicham said.

"Ooo. Say it again." Gengar said.

"Alakasam."

"Ooo."

"Alakasam."

"Ooo."

"ALAKASAM, ALAKASAM, ALAKASAM!" Ekans yelled in glee.

"OOOOOOOO." Gengar said. His fake fear was incredibly humorous to him and his companions. Mewtwo was not amused.

"I'm surrounded by idiots."

"But not you Mewtwo, your one of us." Medicham said.

"Oh, I like it. He isn't the king, but he's still all the glory." Gengar said in pleasure.

"Charmed." Mewtwo said in sarcasm.

"Hey, did you bring us something to eat, buddy, pal, huh-huh-HUH?" Ekans asked.

"I don't think you actually deserve this," Mewtwo said as he held up a sack of berries, "I mean, you can barely do anything right." Despite his annoyance, Mewtwo dropped the sack on the ground. The three soon ripped the sack open and devoured it's contents.

"You know, it's not like we can do whatever we want." Gengar pointed out.

"Yeah. What do you want us to do, kill Alakasam?" Medicham questioned.

Mewtwo looked at them with a twisted smile. "Precisely." The terrible trio looked up in confusion at Mewtwo, until he jumped down from the cliff he stood on an began to sing.

Mewtwo: _I know that your powers of retention  
Are as wet as a swinub's backside_

As he sung, he approached Ekans, who was trying to suck out all the juice from a berry.

_But thick as you are, pay attention_

Mewtwo smacked the berry away, causing Ekans to salute in fear.

_My words are a matter of pride  
It's clear from your vacant expressions  
The lights are not all on upstairs_

To demonstrate, Mewtwo waved a hand infront of Ekans blank face. He didn't even realize he was being insulted. Gengar and Medicham laughed at Ekans stupidity.

_But we're talking kings and successions_

Suddenly, Mewtwo jumped up and scared Gengar and Medicham into two geysers, which launched them into the air.

_Even you can't be caught unawares  
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime  
Be prepared for sensational news  
A shining new era  
Is tiptoeing nearer_

Gengar, having finally come back to the ground, looked at Mewtwo with confusion. 

Gengar: _And where do we feature?_

Mewtwo grabbed Gengar's cheek and gave him a "grandma loves you" pinch. Now it was Gengar's turned to be annoyed. 

Mewtwo: _Just listen to teacher  
I know it sounds sordid  
But you'll be rewarded  
When at last I am given my dues_

Ekans was sitting a throne shaped rock enjoying the song. Mewtwo walked up to Ekans and threw him into a pile of equipment and weapons (where they came from, who knows?). Mewtwo took his place on the throne.

_And injustice deliciously squared  
Be prepared!_

The three pokémon came out of the pile wearing different helments. "Yeah, Be prepared. Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh. ...For what?" Medicham questioned.

"For the death of Alakasam." Mewtwo said. 

"Why? Is he sick?" asked Ekans. Mewtwo grabbed him by the throat and throttled him to ensure he understood. 

"No, fool- we're going to kill him. And the human-turned-pokémon too." Mewtwo said. Then he dropped Ekans to the gound.

"Great idea! Who needs a leader or goody-two shoes?" Gengar said happily.

"No leader! No leader! la-la-la-la-laa-laa!" the three chanted. 

"Idiots! There will be a leader, a king!" Mewtwo yelled in fury. 

"Hey, but you said, uh..." Medicham was confused at what Mewtwo was trying to say. 

"I will be king! ...Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry or be failures again!" Mewtwo said in evil pride. 

"Yaay! All right! Long live the king!" the three cheered the idea 

"Long live the king! Long live the king!" yelled hundreds of Ghastly that appeared. Gengar has a big, evil family and let's leave it at that.

Ghastly: _It's great that we'll soon be connected.  
With a king who'll be all-time adored.  
_

Mewtwo: _Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected  
To take certain duties on board  
The future is littered with prizes  
And though I'm the main addressee  
The point that I must emphasize is_

Mewtwo jumped down from the throne and landed before a Ghastly.

_You won't get a sniff without me!_

As if the entire fortress feared Mewtwo's evil, the entire place started to become unstable.

_So prepare for the coup of the century_  
Ghastly: _(Oooh!)  
Be prepared for the murkiest scam  
(Oooh... La! La! La!)  
Meticulous planning  
(We'll have food!)  
Tenacity spanning  
(Lots of food)  
Decades of denial  
(We repeat)  
Is simply why I'll  
(Endless meat)  
Be king undisputed  
(Aaaaaaah...)  
Respected, saluted  
(...aaaaaaah...)  
And seen for the wonder I am  
(...aaaaaaah!)  
Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared  
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)  
Be prepared!_  
All: _Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared  
Be prepared!_

As the song finished Mewtwo and his army laughed into the night. This was their finest hour, for now.


End file.
